


An Exhaustively Researched Account of Why One Does Not Make Thoughtless Comments on Rose Lalonde's 'Grandma Underwear'

by Latia



Series: 30 Day Otp Challenge [11]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-11
Updated: 2012-12-11
Packaged: 2017-11-20 20:45:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/589467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Latia/pseuds/Latia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If there is one lesson John needs to learn, it's this one.</p><p>(8. Shopping)</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Exhaustively Researched Account of Why One Does Not Make Thoughtless Comments on Rose Lalonde's 'Grandma Underwear'

**Words running through John Egbert's head:** "Shit."

 **Other words running through John Egbert's head:** "Shit, shit, shitshitshitshitshit-"

"Excuse me, sir?"

John jumped, cringed, and very slowly turned to the woman behind him. "Uh, y...yeah?"

"Can I...help you with anything?" Under her eyebrows (quirked judgementally) her gaze traveled all six feet of him, lingering on the ten or twelve pairs of assorted bras and panties hanging off his arms. He was becoming very familiar with the look- after all, every woman in the lingerie store (and as it turned out, there typically was A LOT of women in lingerie stores!!! **WOW** ) seemed to have given him the same look over the past five minutes.

Beyond all his expectations, his face grew even hotter. "N-no, I'm fine--or I was, I just--I'm not a pervert or anything, these are for my girlfriend-."

The woman smiled, faintly. "I see."

"No, really!!" Funny how with a petite blonde girl at his side he was just a dutiful boyfriend helping his SO with some shopping, but without her he was suddenly a creepy, hulking pervert. "She exists and everything, I just-"

"It's fine sir, many men do the same thing-."

"I mean, she was here with me!! And now I can't...find her. Ghh--." He sighed heavily. "Have you seen her? Short, blonde hair, in a purple dress?"

The saleswoman looked at him oddly. "...do you mean her?"

John looked around. "Where?"

"Out there." She pointed not into the store but through the window, where against the crowded mall a bench sat, and atop that bench sat-

Oh.

 **Words running through John Egbert's head:** "...are you fucking serious."

Rose waved.

* * *

 

EB: how long have you been out there?!?  
TT: Long enough.  
EB: long enough to....?  
TT: Long enough to see you wander around like a bewildered duckling trying to find its mother while attempting to make yourself as small as possible under the judgmental gaze of the united mass of soccer moms trying to shuffle their beloved daughters away from the strange man who had thought it a good idea to adorn himself with women's underwear like the skins of a fresh kill?  
TT: If so, then yes.  
EB: ...  
EB: you are the worst.  
TT: Be a dear and pay with the Visa. ;)


End file.
